English Is A Crazy Language

Let's face it,
English is a crazy language.

There is no EGG in EGGPLANT nor HAM in HAMBURGER; neither APPLE nor PINE in PINEAPPLE.
ENGLISH MUFFINS weren't invented in ENGLAND.
QUICKSAND can work SLOWLY, BOXING RINGS are SQUARE, and a GUINEAPIG is neither from GUINEA nor is it a pig.

And why is that WRITERS WRITE but FINGERS DON'T FING, GROCERS don't GROCE and HAMMER don't HAM?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make AMENDS but no one AMEND?
If TEACHERS TAUGHT, why didn't PREACERS PRAUGHT? If a VEGETARIAN eats VEGEABLES, what does a HUMANITARIAN eat?

In what other language do people RECITE at a PLAY and PLAY at a RECITAL?
We SHIP BY TRUCK but SEND CARGO BY SHIP.
We have NOSES that RUN and FEET that SMELL.
We PARK in a DRIVEWAY and DRIVE in PARKWAY.
And how can a SLIM CHANCE and FAT CHANCE be the same, while WISE MAN and WISE GUY are opposites?

You have no marvel at the unique of a language in which your HOUSE can BURN UP as it BURNS DOWN, in which you FILL IN a form by FILLING IT OUT, and in which an ALARM goes OFF by going ON.
And in closing, if father is POP, how come mothers not MOP?

I wonder if The Queen knows the answers. 😊😊