A pirate was talking to a land lubber in a bar. The land lubber noticed that, like any other self respecting pirate, this guy had a peg leg, a hook in place of one of his hands and a patch over one eye. The land lubber just had to find out how the pirate got in such bad shape.
He asked the pirate,"How did you loose your leg?"
"I lost my leg in a battle off the coast of Jamaica" the pirate responded.
His new friend was still curious so he asked, "What about your hand? Did you loose it at the same time?"
"No" answered the pirate. "I lost it to the sharks off the Florida Keys."
Finally the land lubber asked, "I noticed you also have an eye patch. How did you loose your eye?"
The pirate answered, " I was sleeping on a beach when a seagull flew over and crapped right in my eye."
The land lubber asked, "How could a little seagull crap make you loose your eye?"
The pirate snapped, "It was the day just after I got my hook!"
